What I want…

There is something so quietly beautiful when you have a deeper connection with a person . No matter if you gain weight or lose weight they find the sexiness in each added curve and each rolled out curve. How they delight in your crazy thinking, oddities and eccentricity. How they are in love with your brilliant and wacky mind and have no fear in telling you so.

How beautiful it is to know that you are a part of their growth cycle and how you know you bring them texture and depths to their lives. How no matter what you wear; wearing the natural state of you is what turns them on ; nothing extra needed or added. No make, up no frills, no weave; just you and only the authentic you.

How no matter how crazy you seem they appreciate the craziness that resides in you because that is what makes you “You”. They don’t try to dull your down but instead they allow you to be authentically you in all your madness. Without out trying to make you like the rest of the normal sheep.

How even in my darkness, casted by my shadows sitting in the dark. He is not afraid to meet me there, beat me there and greet me there without hesitation or fear. He pulls up the seat in my dark place and holds a steady conversation not missing a beat and with wit, humor and admiration too.

I love it when all mask are off and both individuals can be free to roam the uncharted minds of each other with no holds barred and with a child like curiosity; opening and unlocking pad locked doors, chained basements and dark and twisted stairways that leads to doors never opened. Now I know that a person will not process all the qualities that you want but they should posses the ones that you need and you can work towards the rest if you allow it to happen organically, rhymical and naturally holding a space for them to elevate on their own timing.

I am such a non materialistic person . That doesn’t float my boat at all. I am much more an authentic soul that needs authentic experiences that match my minds eyes, leaves a stain in my souls and ignites the fire in my belly just by being themselves. I am one hell of an emotionally ride mentally, physically and emotionally. I am not an easy cook to digest . I am not for the faint hearted or easily offended. I love it when a man takes time to get to all those parts of me that make me. Who knows my past and knows what triggers me now from same my past. a person that is well verse with depression, mania, hypersexuality, mood swings and rage. The kinda person that does his research on the Taurus the bull like me and ties it all neatly in a bow and knows just what to say and how to handle me when I can’t handle myself.

I need the 3 am conversations, the deep and reflective talks while holding hands. The fore head kisses that melt my soul and eye contact that last for mins without looking away. There is so much to a King That I want. I need him to be compassionate, caring, thoughtful, helpful, thought provoking, empathic and to love my kids like I love them. I want him to know all the little things about me. My love of hazelnut coffee, Yellow fresh cut flowers, my love language, my favorite Caribbean dish, my love for Orange soda one day and Pepsi the next. My ever changing chocolate choices of the week and to encourage me to keep on writing even when I don’t feel like it.

I want a workout partner, pray warrior, nature lover and home body just like me. I need him to motivate me at my lowest point and to encourage me at my most painful moment as I will do the same for him. I need a magical and mystical mate in the bedroom who is willing to let go of social norms and open his wings and soar to places unknow.

I want to be able to be in the same bed; sharing beautiful silence while I read my book and he is playing his game, posting on face book or talking to his friends without feeling like we have to encage in every single moment with each other. I want us to be a couple that is separate yet together. Detached yet, attached. Allowing each of us to grow together and yet apart into the greatest versions of ourselves without over complicating everything and being 100% always in each others faces.

I want him to have time with his family, his boys and friends away from me as I want the same for myself. coming together at family functions, get togethers and more. I want it easy flowing, no hassle in loving one another; just pure love and admiration for each other. I don’t want the chess mind games, the manipulation or fuckery to bind us together in falsehood. I just want what is true, what is just, what is righteous and what is real in my next relationship. I want to love like no other with no other but with him and he with me.

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